Table of Contents
Introduction
Let us imagine you go to school for the first time with your gay parents or lesbian parents. Some of your classmates would start to whisper about why you have two fathers or two mothers unlike what they have. However, your parents had no problems with parenting since you were adopted. How would you feel if someone feels awkward about your gay parents who have been your perfect father and mother? You would say “why would you even care about that?” Likewise, some people are like this ‘some of your classmates’ in our society. There are quite many same-sex couples parenting adopted babies in the United States. There is a continuous argument on the quality of gay and lesbian parenting compared to the normal parenting. For example, Lavner et al., faculty members of the UCLA Department of Psychology, has revealed that “gay and lesbian parents cannot handle high-risk kids,” (465). Nonetheless, just as straight couples prepare for parenthood, so does the LGBT couples because they are just as good as straight parents. According to Goldberg et al., “the desire to offer homes and support the needy children drives them to child adoption,” (157). Hence, they equally deserve the right to child adoption. The notion of heterosexual and homosexual parents only relates to the family structure that slightly affects kids’ psychological development. Golombok claims, “The critical aspect in raising children is the quality of family life,” (131). Therefore, this paper delves into discussing that gay adoption is just as good as heterosexual adoption because the main agenda is to give the homeless kids a stable home and educate them. Hence, their sexual orientation is no judgment or standard for being parents.
Background
Adoption is a means of promoting emotional and cognitive development in kids from support care homes. LGBT adoption is the adoption of babies by lesbian, gay, bisexuals, and transgender people. As the number of homeless children in the foster care rise, the foster cares start to face crisis thus rendering to degraded support (Jaugstetter para. 1-2). In other words, these children need homes where they can be loved, supported emotionally and psychologically. Hence, according to faculties of the University of Oregon and Virginia Polytechnic Institute, “heterosexual or homosexual is just a sexual orientation that does not prevent the adoption of kids by gay and lesbian couples,” (Linville and O’Neil para. 3). As a result, recently, all states in the United States allow the adoption of children by LGBT parents. Nonetheless, the topic of whether gay and lesbian parents offer adequate support to children and whether they have a right to adoption has gained public attention. In 1977, Florida did not tolerate gay adoption thus making it difficult for LGBT parents in that state to enjoy parenting rights like the straight parents (Beitsch para. 4).
LGBT parents have Right to Adoption
Every couple deserves a right to adopt children despite their sexual orientation. People should neither be rooted nor blinded by the sexual orientation of people within the LGBT community. The society, children’s welfare, the government and other agencies in charge of influencing this decision should put much consideration on what the homeless children can get when placed in the care of same-sex parents such as economic, emotional, and psychological support. Goldberg et al. argue that just like “Straight couples prepare themselves psychologically before deciding the right time to have children, so does the gay and lesbian couples,” (159). Linville and O’Neil also agree, “Since the gay couples also go through the same stage, when they face an adoption agency, it implies that they are ready psychologically, financially and emotionally as the heterosexual parents are,” (para. 4). Therefore, they should be given the chance to walk home smile with a baby in their arms. In addition, unlike straight couples, people may get into the trouble, which they will not be prepared to have kids, and when they do, the partner who is not ready will not be devoted to supporting the child’s development. In the course of a divorce, the child becomes torn between the two parents as well as the family structure and status that may result in psychological problems as they develop. Unlike straight parents, LGBT couples become parents by choice hence they become the best parents. Some researches assume that a parent’s sexual orientation will influence children’s gender role (Linville and O’Neil para. 4). For instance, a female child raised by gay parents may end up acknowledging male characters in the future that may affect her social life. However, some studies find that parents’ sexual identity barely affects their children thus supporting gay adoption.
Comparison between Gay and Lesbian Parents and Straight Parents
American Psychological Society finds that children from homosexual parents have similar advantages regarding development thus leading to equal education. Linville and O’Neil claim, “The primary determinant of the quality of education or support received by kids is determined by the quality of parenting and not by sexual identity,” (para. 3). Poor academic performance can only arise in situations where a child is raised in a family full of conflicts or whereby a parent divorced the other to get into another relationship that could still be a straight or same-sex affair. As much as most kids are comfortable with their gay and lesbian parents, the constant questions that they receive from their friend and classmates provoke them. Therefore, gay and lesbian parents should prepare their kids for such queries because they are or should be expected from other kids in the school, playgrounds, or any other surrounding. It is advisable to give the facts to children about their biologic parents if they exist between the two same-sex parents or whether the child was adopted from foster care. Nonetheless, such queries cannot hinder the academic performance of a child when the parents normalize their relationship and educate their child to stop being defensive but normal regarding their friends’ concerns. Regardless of the advantages that children receive from their gay and lesbian parents, only South Africa nation recognizes LGBT adoption in Africa (Goldberg and Allen23). “Kids raised by homosexual parents tend to be more tolerant, compassionate, and resilient,” (Linville and O’Neil para. 4). The essential part is to educate the children and offer them a stable family life. Children raised by LGBT parents will still live a healthy life without psychological disturbances as kids from ordinary families.
Banning Gay Adoption is Equal to Discrimination
Banning or preventing gay adoption is equal to discrimination against same-sex people. It is the act of denying the LGBT community to parent kids because of their sexual identity. Nonetheless, laws should consider the fact that sexual orientation does not affect the quality of life but the preparation of both couples. As a result, gays and lesbian couples deserve a right to adoption. For instance, Beitsch clarifies the discrimination that gay couples face during adoption process using the case of Daniel Nurse and Casanova who were prevented by Florida’s constitution from adopting baby Cameron until 2011 when the law was implemented, it was an act of discrimination because straight couples did not go through the same challenge,” (para. 1-3). Most gay and lesbian couples have succeeded in adopting children from private adoption agencies that were gay-friendly because foster care homes were not welcoming (Beitsch para.4). “After the United States legalized same-sex marriage countrywide, the situation has changed, but still, limits exist in some areas,” (Beitsch para.5).
Castillo et al. reveal, “Children are more comfortable when they have a mother and a father because that is the perception that they get from the society. Children are also born with a different sexual orientation that they may realize at their immature or mature stage and shun from it,” (21). Hence, they should be taught to expect gay and lesbian parents since it comes up from inception. “The challenges of accepting homosexual parents arise when the children’s classmates question their parental status (Castillo et al.117). It makes most kids ask their same-sex parents the same queries in pursuit of getting a response to shut their classmates and friends. In other words, children from both heterosexual and same-sex parenting have no difference in their behavior and performance; hence, comfort cannot be used to determine whether the right should be banned.
There are no Boundaries in the Roles of Fathers and Mothers
In the early days, as kids grow up, they stereotyped that their mothers perform the house chores such as cleaning, and cooking while their fathers go to work to earn the daily family bread. However, in the current society, the roles of mothers and fathers have transformed. The reason being nearly 98 percent of American women work even after conceiving while the fathers also help in doing the house duties. Hence, the gay adoption will offer children the same comfort that they can get from straight parents since they relate just like the heterosexual parents despite their sexual orientation. For instance, when it comes to dieting; snacking, mothers receive much from the society for their children’s obesity status. According to Gevers et al., “communities stereotype that mothers have a role to control the snacking of their children” (185-189). Nonetheless, with the change in roles, either parent can restrict their child’s snacking.
Conclusion
LGBT adoption is whereby same-sex couples pursue their right to adopt a child through adoption agencies or foster care systems. Gay and lesbian parenting should be acknowledged because they only differ in their sexual orientation but can offer the quality of life to children. Moreover, according to the American Association Psychology, kids adopted by same-sex couples develop healthily just like the kids in heterosexual families. As a result, they deserve a right to child adoption. They only need to normalize their relationship with their children to make them comfortable with the questions that are expected from other kids in school or other social places. In addition, they equally perform as children in heterosexual families hence they are not disadvantaged education wise. The issue of parenting roles in mothers and fathers no longer exists in the current century. Therefore, it does not influence children’s development. Same-sex adoption should not be banned because it only leads to discrimination based on one’s sexual orientation that will raise controversies amid straights and LGBT community. Therefore, the law should allow the same adoption rights to same-sex couples since they also go through the same preparation stage of parenting and offer children similar support as heterosexual parents thus ensuring their kids are not different from those who have mothers and fathers.
- Beitsch, Rebecca. “Despite Same-Sex Marriage Ruling, Gay Adoption Rights Uncertain in Some States.” The Pew Charitable Trusts | The Pew Charitable Trusts, 19 Aug. 2015, www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2015/08/19/despite-same-sex-marriage-ruling-gay-adoption-rights-uncertain-in-some-states. Accessed 22 July 2018.
- Del Castillo., et al.How Homophobia Hurts Children: Nurturing Diversity at Home, at School, and in the Community. Taylor and Francis, 2013.
- Gevers, Dorus W., et al. “Associations between general parenting, restrictive snacking rules, and adolescent’s snack intake. The roles of fathers and mothers and interparental congruence.” Appetite, vol. 87, 2014, pp. 184-191.
- Goldberg, Abbie E., et al. “Why Parenthood, and Why Now? Gay Men’s Motivations for Pursuing Parenthood.” Family Relations, vol. 61, no. 1, 2012, pp. 157-174.
- Goldberg, Abbie E, and Katherine R. Allen. Lgbt-parent Families: Innovations in Research and Implications for Practice. 2013.
- Golombok, Susan. “Parenting: What Really Counts?” Parenting: What Really Counts?, Taylor and Francis, 2014.
- Jaugstetter, Mitch. “Georgia faces massive foster care crisis as number of kids needing homes surges.” The Telegraph, 2018, www.macon.com/news/local/article212960864.html.
- Lavner, Justin A., et al. “Can gay and lesbian parents promote healthy development in high-risk children adopted from foster care?” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, vol. 82, no. 4, 2012, pp. 465-472.
- Linville, Deanna, and Maya O’Neil. “Same-sex Parents and Their Children.” American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, AAMFT, 2018, www.aamft.org/AAMFT/Consumer_Updates/Same-sex_Parents_and_Their_Children.aspx. Accessed 23 July 2018.